Recently The Beard and I embarked on a two week road trip across the country to hike, camp and explore. Our intended destinations were the Rocky Mountains, Grand Tetons and Yellowstone. While we were super excited for our adventure, we also had another motive. CBD.

For those of you who don’t know, CBD or Cannabidiol is a cannabis compound that has significant medical benefits, but does not make people feel stoned and can actually counteract the psycho-activity of the THC. It has been proven to provide relief for people suffering from inflammation, pain, anxiety, seizures, spasms, arthritis, diabetes, MS, chronic pain, PTSD, depression, epilepsy and other neurological disorders.

So what does this have to do with me? When I was 14 years old I was sitting in church and suddenly a pain shot up my back, down my right arm, and suddenly I couldn’t move my hand. My arm was essentially paralyzed for an hour. Once feeling returned my ability to grasp things was incredibly stinted. To this day I can only write with a pen for maximum five minutes.

What followed this was one of the toughest years of my life, and believe me, I’ve had some rough ones. All the muscles in my body began to seize up to the point it hurt to have clothes on, let alone allow someone to touch me. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and at one point couldn’t even read due to whatever neurological issues were happening with my brain. I lived in agonizing pain and went from one ER room to the next all while being questioned by medical staff if I was just looking for attention. A pediatric neurologist actually recommended to my parents that I be institutionalized since he viewed me as a severely psychologically disturbed individual. Thankfully my parents didn’t give a second thought to his opinion, let alone even tell me at the time. I was in pain and no one believed me.

Eventually a pediatric rheumatologist diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia at the age of 15. I weighed 82 lbs. At the time this was a fairly new condition, one that the majority of the medical community believed was a fancy term for hypochondriac. Pharmaceutical companies were not making medicine geared toward Fibro, there weren’t commercials on TV talking about fibro pain, and there were no colored ribbons honoring the fight against an “invisible” illness.

Fast forward to college and I’ve been diagnosed with irritable bowel and chronic fatigue. I weighed 90 lbs as a freshman. As an art major school was a struggle. I had to spend so many hours in the studios drawing, painting, processing film for photography. I was so physically weak that I had friends who would meet me after classes and help carry my books and art supplies to my next classes. On bad days I would leave up to an hour before my classes started because I knew it would take me that long to physically walk to class.

Later in my  mid twenties I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had my fifth surgery right before my 25th birthday. A few years later my cortisol levels dropped so low my body had no ability to manage stress and I had panic attacks daily. The pain from these attacks would last for hours leaving me in such a weakened state the doctor threatened to hospitalize me if I didn’t have some round the clock care. I could barely walk down the hallway unassisted.

Entering my late twenties I started having unexplainable pain in my left side. It was excruciating at times and you could visibly see the swelling in my spleen area. Having had every test under the sun to this day doctor’s have yet to confirm a diagnosis.

Last summer I had five kidney stones removed from both kidneys and noticed a weird correlation in my PMS symptoms subsiding. Unfortunately that didn’t last for long and six months later they were back with a fury I have never experienced. While the average woman may experience cramping and some discomfort I am down for the count. My symptoms include nerve pain in my legs, kidney pain, severe cramping and tearing, fevers, nausea and vomiting to name a few.

I have recently come to believe there might also be a possibility that a majority of my unexplained medical issues are to do something called Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. This can be confirmed by a blood test which I have yet to have done but plan on doing soon.

So this brings us to the present day and back to our quest for CBD. We drove across the border into Colorado and found a well reviewed dispensary thanks to an app called Weed Maps. We walked in feeling like we semi-knew what to expect thanks to our binge watching of a show called Weedequitte on Viceland. I highly recommend checking it out.

The people working behind the counters are called budtenders and were incredibly helpful. I explained that I was looking for some CBD edibles for pain management and they reviewed several options. The first thing I tried were these Synergy mints. They contain a 1.1 ratio of CBD to THC, each mint containing 5 mg of both.

I took 10 mg after eating a hearty lunch and we went on a hike up to Loch Vale near Estes Park. To give you a point of reference, when we went hiking this summer at Red River Gorge in Kentucky there was a point on the trail that I was literally in tears. My side pain (spleen) was flared up causing me to double over. My kidneys seemed to be throbbing with every step, and cramps had started causing me intense pain. My hands and legs were super swollen and I was just miserable.

Now here I am with 10mg CBD and hiking up this trail like nobody’s business. We hiked somewhere around 11 miles and not one symptom. Not one twinge. My spleen didn’t hurt, my kidneys were content and my body wasn’t swelling up like a balloon. The only thing I did notice was how hungry I was! Me, the person who rarely experiences hunger and tends to forget to eat, was devouring every snack in my pack. All I could think was, “Is this how other people feel all the time?”

We also purchased these drops. These contain a 1.1 ratio of CBD to THC as well. I am a person who has spent half their life nauseous. When PMS symptoms start my body immediately starts vomiting. All I needed was .25mg of the drops and nausea, migraines and cramping disappeared within the hour. Compare that to 800mg of Tramadol, a narcotic that barely takes the edge off my pain.

For someone who has spent the past seventeen years in pain, dealing with one unexplainable issue after another, the concept of feeling fine is relative. I’m exhausted, this hurts and that hurts, but I’m not doubled over so today is a good day, barely scratches the surface on an explanation. To hear from doctor after doctor that, “They’ve never seen this before” is frustrating but also expected since you didn’t think they could help you in the first place. To be resigned that this is life, and I’m a tough chick and I will always try to make the best out of what I’m given and stay positive, is good yet sad.

However, to finally go to a place and try the one thing you’ve held out hope would help you and it does, is such an emotional experience. I took CBD and I didn’t hurt. Not just, well I don’t feel too bad, or the pain isn’t that severe, or it’s only coming in small waves. I DON”T HURT! I’m thirty-one years old and I don’t remember a time when that was true. Finally I’ve found something to help me and there’s just one problem. It’s illegal in most of the United States. The federal government still considers marijuana a schedule one drug, right up there with heroin. While the CBD I purchased only contained small amounts of THC, it is still a bi-product of marijuana and considered a felony to possess outside of the few legalized states we have.

While you may have a different view point on the effects of legalizing marijuana just think about this for a minute. Think back to a time when you had the flu. You have a fever, chills, you feel achy all over and you can’t keep anything down. It’s the worst and you wish someone would put you out of your misery. Now imagine that there was a drop you could take that could remove all those symptoms within the hour. However, it’s illegal where you live. It can take away all your pain, but you can’t have it. Instead, you get to continue experiencing all your flu symptoms every minute, of every hour, of every day. That’s what is happening to millions of people thanks to the federal government.

While I can’t make it happen over night, my goal is to eventually move to a legalized state. If you could be pain free, wouldn’t you?